Be Not Afraid

I got back from visiting family in New York about a week ago.  Please, if I ever again decide to go on a trip with my sister that lasts more than a week, smack me. 

No, better yet, tie me to a chair, stuff me in a closest, and give me a good talking to until I come to my senses.

I'm just counting myself lucky that her husband had to work and couldn't come along.  Not that it made much difference, seeing as they were constantly text messaging.  (Curse their unlimited texting!)  Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be sitting in New York City traffic, sweating, staring at that friggin' Lary Flynt's Hustler club billboard whatever thing for twenty minutes, and having to listen to a doorbell knockoff ringtone every thirty seconds?  Clue: answer is really a very lot.

But that's nothing compared to the actual spoken conversations I was forced to endure.  I would just like to take this opportunity to point out that not so subtly discussing when you can have phone sex while your poor allergy ridden sister is trying to sleep on an ancient couch bed in the very not private area of your aunt's living/dinning room?  Not cool.

And while I'm at, doing the afforementioned while using baby talk?  Both annoying and gross. 

Also, you'd think that twenty-one years worth of temper tantrums, screaming, slap fights, and evil glares would clue a girl onto that fact that I really don't like to be told what to do.  Seriously, someone's a little dense.  (Not that I hadn't already figured that out.)

Another thing, does the fact that your father's driving truly is nausea inducing mean that it's absolutely necessary to mention this fact every third mile marker?  No, no it doesn't.

And as long as I'm complaining about my dear sweet sister; not having enough money to buy necessities and being forced to really on family members for things like gas and milk for your child?  Okay.  Merely expecting your entire family to shell out their hard earned money to buy half the store while laughing about it, proclaiming as loudly as humanly possible your reliance on welfare, and not bothering to say thank you?  (That's the important one right there.)  Kinda makes me want to slap you and then disavow any knowledge of your existence.

One last thing, lower your friggin' voice.  I'm already hearing impaired; I don't need you perforating my eardrums.

(Somewhere in there I actually started speaking to my sister.  I can't be bothered to fix it.)

Posted by: Delora at 12:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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